Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Third Strike Presents: Michael Bay Ruins Your Childhood, Part 1.

Yes, yes. Michael Bay is plotting to ruin our childhoods one classic nostalgia series at a time. That's old news. The "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle/Aliens" rage long ago subsided, replaced by the standard, lingering bad taste Michael Bay's signature has always produced.

...Old Bay Seasoning?

That's not all, of course. The most boring board game Mom ever packed for a summer road trip is getting its time on the silver screen too, courtesy of Hasbro... the creators of Transformers.

That's right! We still have Battleship to live through. Although it's technically not a Michael Bay film, you can tell by the trailer that the summer film is channeling his essence.
Expectations of Liam Neeson barking "I sunk your battleship, BITCH!" are at an all-time high.
Box Office.... HIT!

None of this is particularly new information. But what IS new is the recent er... discovery by Third Strike! After the Alien-Turtles film, Michael Bay will be moving on to another classic cartoon created to sell toys and make bundles of money from an ever-amnesic public.

Lucky for Third Strike, a promotional poster has leaked to the web. Behold, in all its glory!

A Michael Bay Film
Showing in 3D!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Lockout: The Movie

The online nerd world is counting out the early summer science fiction film Lockout, coming April 13th. I, for one, am going to see it for one reason alone: this sweet tattoo.

Points: outside face-teeth, outside of his normal teeth! Cool. I want to get this and show up for work on Monday.

Negative points: using "he's the best there is, but he's a loose cannon" in the trailer:

Come on. Lethal Weapon has already used those silly tag lines for four movies, and I'm getting too old for this shit.

Sunday, April 1, 2012