Monday, January 30, 2012

Monday Moustache: 9-9-Moustache

This marks the thirty-seventh post in a recurring segment on moustaches.

Today's moustache:

Herman Cain
Herman's moustache has been staring Third Strike in the face for months, taunting the Monday Moustache series for not posting it.

Herman's moustache is just like a Godfather's pizza: it's always fantastic, but it's even better when you're drunk at 2 a.m..

At hours earlier than 2 a.m., we've learned about the man behind the moustache over the past several months.
Herman's rise and fall in the Republican Presidential primaries has been one hell of a journey. The man rose from pizza-producing prominence, poor polling, and political punditry to the leader of the Presidentail primay race. All to soon after, allegations of innappropriate behavior during his restaurant days led to his quick exit to the race. Too saucy, Herman.
Still, the story of the Cain Train is one that will go down in the books. From his 9-9-9 tax plan, his proclivity towards quoting Pokemon songs, and his (late) endorsement by Stephen Colbert, Cain is nothing if not memorable. Now he has endorsed Newt Gingrich and we will see if that has the same influence as his 2000 endorsement of Steve Forbes.
The most tragic part of Cain's exit from the primary race is the resulting lack of diversity-- not a single candidate left has a moustache!!! C'mon, GOP!
Herman Cain's representation of the elite moustache community showed real character in an age with so few leaders sporting 'staches. What's more, Herman Cain advanced other moustaches; Cain's campaign manager Mark Block had a smokin' stache, seen in the infamous online ad.
So carry on, Herman Cain.... You might have forgotten your policy on Libya, but you will never be forgotten.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Monday Moustache: Moustaches of Steele

This marks the thirty-sixth post in a recurring segment on moustaches.

Today's moustache:

Michael Steele

Monday Moustaches have returned! And it's about damn time. The months have rolled by and the Third Strike has been... indisposed to write. Moustaches came into the media, with Movember making national news and Heineken commercials celebrating the handlebar 'stache. Obviously word got out about the glory of grooming a fuzzy facehugger... terribly timed for Third Strike.

But that intermission is over, and just like Newt Gingrich it's a second wind. Or is it, appropriately, the third?

Just like a Newt Gingrich candidacy, you can't keep a good moustache down. Michael Steele may have been unceremoniously tossed out of his Republic National Committee chairmanship, but you know what? I still see him on the news a lot more than his replacement, Reince Priebus. Not only does Reince violate the "I before E Rule", but he sufferes a severe moustache deficiency.
The Daily Show has featured Michael Steele regularly as the soup-rejecting customer Muppet. Ironic, of course, since he has an outstanding soup-catcher of a 'stache.
Michael Steele, feeling blue after losing his position
Let's hope Mr. Steele stays in the spotlight. 2011 was a year full of magnificent moustaches, and with his help we can elect to keep 2012 the same!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

New Year... New

The Third Strike isn't dead. It has been in Carbon Freeze, hanging in Jabba's palace for all to see. 2012 is a new year.... perhaps it shall resurrect?