Friday, May 25, 2012

Happy Geek Pride Day! Live Long and Let the Force Prosper with You

Today is Geek Pride Day! A day where it is acceptable to show up to work dressed as Gandalf, curse out your coworkers in Klingon, and stock up on purple pants in preparation for an unexpected case of  "Hulking".

May the Force Live Long and Prosper with you All.

Celebrating Geek Pride, I pose a question to the world of nerdelicious fandom:

Jango Fett: Awesome, or Awful?

Jango Fett is the... father*... of Boba Fett, everyone's favorite bounty hunter.

*to be technically correct, Boba Fett is a perfect clone of Jango in the same manner that Hubert Farnsworth Jr is a clone of the Professor.
Clone, sometimes eaten by Brett Blob
Clone, sometimes eaten by the Sarlacc Pit

Like father, like son: we can only assume that they both share the same soft spot for disintegrating targets.

Jango Fett was introduced in the middle prequel, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. This unfortunate placement in the timeline warrants immediate skepticism on just how awesome he is. After all, Jango Fett IS the clone that generated that still ridiculous movie title.

That being said, Jango Fett is probably one of the more bad-ass characters in the entirety of Episode I-III. Boba Fett's role in the original trilogy was notoriously mysterious and subtle, so Jango's role as the genetic foundation of the clones (and hence, all future Stormtroopers) binds his existence more fundamentally to the space opera's story arc. But maybe it was all just a tacky way to include a successful  merchandising product.

So which is it? Was Jango Fett a badass narrative predecessor to Jango Fett, or the "Poor Man's Boba"? Let's see how they do head to helmeted head:

Jango Fett vs. Boba Fett: Showdown

1. Character Introduction

Jango: Assassinates his own assassin to protect his secret identity.... but uses a rare dart that can be traced back to him to do it.
Boba: Technically introduced in the Star Wars Holiday Special, the lost Holy Grail of Star Wars collectibles. Later introduced in The Empire Strikes Back while being briefed by Darth Vader to hunt down Han Solo and crew.

Jango, what's with the middleman? Using a subcontractor was just asking for trouble. And while the Star Wars Holiday Special was notoriously awful, it's also mysterious.

Winner: Boba Fett

2. Awesomeness of Death

Jango: head cut off by Samuel L. Jackson, wielder of the only purple lightsaber in the galaxy.
Boba: accidentally kicked by Harrison Ford (still blind from his recovery from carbonite freezing) into the Sarlacc Pit to die a horrible death.  
Unless you read the Extended Universe.... but that's silly.

Sorry Bobba, but that death is the pits.

Winner: Jango Fett

3. Armor & Fashion Sense

Jango: wears shiny new armor; he clearly takes care of it, but he also can't be using it to its full potential
Boba: wears basically the armor, but with the obvious signs of heavy use. Armor was made to be used and useful.

As much as it's great to leave collectable Star Wars armor in its original packaging, it becomes even better when it's taken out for a spin into battle

Winner: Boba Fett

4. Vehicle

Jango: cloaking ship named "Slave 1"
Boba: cloaking ship named "Slave-1"

While we see more of the ship in deadly action when Jango is flying it, it's always the same stealthy craft

Winner: Tie

5. Fight Scenes

Jango: has an intense fight with Obi-Wan Kenobi, and then later with Mace Windu.
Boba: more active as a stalking bounty hunter, he provides some extra security and menace at Jabba's Palace.

Winner: Jango
Showdown Winner.... A TIE!!!

With Boba Fett being a clone of Jango Fett, they easily conflate into a guy with a  sweet helment, a blaster, and a jetpack. 

This is the real reason cloning humans isn't ethical: it ruins competition. Plus we'd need a Clone Pride Day next, and that's just silly.

Happy Geek Pride Day!

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