Because if anyone knows about spirituality—it’s the IRS… they specialize in damnation.
6. In the mid-60s, faith and membership was not based on doctrine (which sometimes conflicted with itself… not that that happens in other texts…), but on following Hubbard himself. You have to wonder if there were any awkward moments if he ever made a joke. "Do we write that part down?"
7. In 1963, the FDA seized “e-meters” as equipment illegally being claimed as medical devices. “Science” is legally required for doctors. E-meters now carry a disclaimer that they are religious artifacts. Disclaimer: this yamaka not a medical device.
8. In 1967, the IRS removes Scientology’s tax-exempt status since it operated commercially to benefit Hubbard. 25 year litigation begins and ends in favor of the Church. Who do people root for: the IRS or Scientology?
9. In 1979, the FBI’s Operation Snow White leads to the arrest of eleven senior members of the church for a number of crimes relating to the effort to purge unfavorable records about Scientology and L. Ron Hubbard. It would have been funnier if they only arrested 7 people/"dwarfs". The FBI has a terrible sense of humor.
10. A break-off group called “Free Zone” starts as a separate faith. It’s founded by Hubbard Scientology Flagship Apollo Sea Org Captain “Bill” Robertson. I want that title.
11. In 1993, the cosmology of Scientology, usually kept exclusive to high-up members, is released to the court and makes its way to the Internet. This involves the description of Xenu:
- Xenu was the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy
- 75 million years ago, he brought billions of people to Earth on DC-8-like spacecraft and killed them near volcanoes with hydrogen bombs
- The “souls” lived on as thetans, which were then captured, forced to wear 3-D glasses about “misleading data” (all other religions, e.g. Catholicism). And I thought Avatar was preachy.
- Those souls attached to humans and are what make us sad.
Some people get extremely upset that there is an entire religion devoted to something that sounds like the kind of thing Jar Jar Binks would follow. Some people follow the doctrine zealously and use it to try to improve their life.
But both groups are ENTIRELY missing the point! Think of the new freedoms that this opens up!
With the right resources, following, and lawyers, we can have any of these types of tax-exempt churches:
- Devotion to the worship of Google.
- All hymns are Vanilla Ice songs
- The spiritual drink is from Jamba Juice
- Following the Will of Samuel L. Jackson
- Brett Favre's permanent retirement will bring about the Apocalypse
- Survival of watching one full season of The Vampire Diaries is a Rite of Passage