Monday, January 3, 2011

New Years Resolutions

Staying on the timely/topical streak that Third Strike has been riding, it's time to decide what New Years resolutions we should take up in 2011.

The first day of the year is a commonly approved time to begin gym memberships, eat better, be nicer to people, and stop living in New Jersey. So how are we going to improve ourselves?

1. Grow Justin Bieber Haircut.

Justin is the rage these days, following the legacy of a long line of famous Justin's: Justin Timberlake, Justin Long (the Apple guy). Actually, that's about it.

Anyways, to reach a level of Bieber popularity, Third Strike needs to chase the popular trend.

2. Stop Making Twilight and Jersey Shore jokes.

Some subjects are so easy that we can't help but make fun of them. The Third Strike is particularly guilty of retreating to these "safe" topics for easy comedy. But comedy should be edgy, fresh, and smell nothing like tanning lotion or undead hair product.

Maybe we could turn the Jersey Shore kids into vampires; then when they all go tanning, they will erupt into flames. No... wait... they'll just sparkle. Damn. Well, we can skip it all and just stake them in the heart.

Whoops. Looks like we broke that resolution already. Oh well.

3. Contribute to Society

For all the moaning that Third Strike does about oncoming Zombie plagues, meteorites, and James Cameron films, we haven't really helped our fellow man all that much. The Third Strike should probably put blogging to good use at some point, and use humor to create awareness to some sort of cause (on the side).

Workman's Comp for Injured Stormtroopers?

We're working on it. Suggestions are welcome.

Myself, Age 10
4. Increase Blog Content

ELEVEN posts in December? What the hell were we doing? WORKING? OUR JOBS??? UNACCEPTABLE!!!!

5. Capture a Snipe

My dad tasked me with finding a snipe when I was ten years old. I'm still on the prowl. Pixar has told me that they reside in South America...

6. Try to live up to the writing standards of one of Third Strike's major influences: Mr. Dave Barry.

Happy New Year!

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