Monday, March 14, 2011

Pi Day

Today is a good day for things to come full circle. It's Pi Day... March 14th. Or, if you're still not getting it, 3/14.

How do we celebrate the pi in our lives? My recommendation is to hug a stranger, wrapping them with a perfect circle of love. Alternatively, listening to A Perfect Circle is a lot less likely to get you socked in the gut, but it is much more likely to be depressingly emo.

I'm not Mathematician,  but that circle looks like it actually needs improvement. *Sigh* Rock Stars...
The safest way to satisfyingly celebrate Pi day is to eat some celebratory pies! Pies are so amazing that we make them out of pretty much everything; we even have pie-eating contests to show who can appreciate the most pies without vomiting.

Third Strike is here to help you navigate through the 360 degrees of pie.

Most pies are 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon. Kevin Bacon owns a small pie-making business that keeps kosher just to baffle people. It's called "Kevin Bacon's Baconless Pies". The company is expected to declare bankruptcy this Friday.

Types of Pies
Savory Pies

  • Bacon and egg pie: Kevin Bacon's favorite
  • Butter pie: For those who have lost the will to live
  • Chicken and mushroom pie: Be careful with the shrooms.
  • Corned beef pie: I never figured out how beef can be corned, at least not in any way I want to know.
  • Cottage pie/Shepherds' pie: Surprisingly good for English food
  • Game pie: too gamey.
  • Fish pie: Fish belong in stick form
  • Homity pie: Wtf?
  • Meat pie: Kind of un-American
  • Pasty: Test in winter
  • Pizza pie: Technically not a pie, but screw that. I'm not the pie police.
  • Pork pie: That sounds like a good insult to call someone
  • Pot pie: A safe alternative to shroom pie
  • Quiche: Technically a pie, but pizza isn't? What a country.
  • Scotch pie: Sign me up. Now.
  • Curry pie: Don't sign me up.
  • Stargazy pie: Whoever named this had their head in the clouds
  • Steak pie: Why have hamburger when you can have Steak pie
  • Steak and kidney pie: I woke up in a tub full of ice with this pie on the window sill. I don't trust it.
Sweet Pies
  • Apple pie: Tastes like America
  • Banoffee pie: Had to look this up. *drools*
  • Blackberry pie: A triumph for black berries everywhere
  • Blueberry pie: Just don't get it on your clothes
  • Buko pie: Not American
  • Cherry pie: Very American.
  • Chess pie: Bishop to D4.
  • Cream pie: Way too easy to be misinterpreted as something sexual
  • Custard pie: Slightly safer than cream pie
  • Key lime pie: I can never taste the key.
  • Strawberry Rhubarb pie: Combining delicious things
Pies To Avoid

  • Cow Pies: You'll never make this mistake twice
  • Cheesecake: I know, it's delicious. Unfortunately, this is clearly a pie, and it calls itself a cake. It's like a transexual prostitute: you don't really know exactly what you're getting, and you still won't be sure the next morning... You might need therapy.
  • Alpha Beta Pi: Worst party I ever went to in college.
Now you know your way around the pie! Enjoy! Oh, yes... one more thing...

Watch out for pies in the face!