Monday, November 29, 2010

Monday Moustache: Sidekick 'Stache

The sixteenth post in a reccurring segment on moustaches.

Today's moustache:

Not everyone can be number one.
Hell, sometimes you don't even get the bronze medal, let alone gold.

But just because it's not you on the awards pedestal... or your name on the building... doesn't mean that you don't provide an invaluable role to what goes on inside. I sound like my boss. FML.

By that token, Luigi might not have his name on (most) Mario games, but his presence creates something even greater than himself: Moustached Multiplayer.

Luigi is Mario's twin brother, and like his pudgy bro he also sports a fetching 'stache. While they're extremely similar, Luigi is known for being slightly taller, thinner, and

Together, these two open up the option of plugging in that extra controller and having an adventure with a friend. It's a much happier world where we are not forced to play video games in a dark basement by ourselves.

Both the brothers fight their nemesis Bowser and his army of Goombas and Koopas, yet they still have time to play tennis. At the end of the day, it's older brother Mario who gets his name on the video-game packaging. See the Monday Moustache for (Super) Mario to see a list of his accolades for more moustache glory.

Are they so different, though?
Behold, the power of color rendering! Where once there was  Red and Brown, now there is GREEN and WHITE!
And it ain't easy being green.

Luigi is just as lovable as Mario, and he even appears to be in slightly better shape. He is a devoted brother, constantly assisting Mario with his princess-rescuing levels. Yet no matter the levelness of the stats, Luigi gets pigeonholed as a "sidekick" to the industrious Mario. Luigi only has one game to his name: Luigi's Mansion.  That game pertains of a haunted mansion where he had to work as a Ghostbuster. Granted, he gets a mansion to begin with, but c'mon. It's haunted.

Luigi's problem is obvious: he needs a better agent. Or maybe a publicist.

Team Perfect
One could argue that Mario & Luigi are a dynamic duo, and not the Batman & Robin kind (because let's face it, nobody wants to be a Robin).

But Mario & Luigi aren't quite like the quintessential duo, Peanut Butter & Jelly. Neither Peanut Butter nor Jelly pull a Diana Ross and act as the prima donna; there is no leader and no follower. Instead they act together in concert with perfect harmony. The same can't be said about Luigi; he goes where Mario tells him to go.

Luigi is a valiant and worthy creature, so I recommend to him this: keep working on the moustache. Mario has a fabulous, optimistic moustache, but he has not won the moustache race by a long shot. After all, Luigi had a green moustache at one point (see picture above). That's pretty rockin'.

We thought Luigi was Italian, like Mario, but in a pixilated version he clearly has green hair... is it possible? Could Luigi be Irish? Is his twin-brother actually from another mother?

Or does he have Moustache Gangrene?

Luigi's hair brown when 3 Dimensions, but that may be an extraordinary deception meant to fool us.

After all, Avatar was a good movie in 3-D.


  1. Okay, why can't I have a green mustache?!?

  2. Growing green hair anywhere is pretty tricky. I feel like someone turning green is usually a sign they're about to throw up...